Nostradamus, Jr. Kalihers Annual Top 101 Predictions for 2019

January 1, 2019 by · Leave a Comment 

A shapely, shimmering feminine silhouette somewhere in the distance kept interrupting my stupor. A woman, no, a sex goddess came into focus. Dang, I felt spaced out and recalled downing a quart jar of bad corn liquor slap dab in the middle of Big Earl’s House of Porn and Bait Shoppe before the light faded. The goddess was shapely Lucille and she slipped up close. Oh, lord her endowments felt good. “You finished your predictions yet, Nostradamus, Jr.?” she purred.

Lordy, Lordy have mercy, them predictions hadn’t crossed my mind in months. The whole dang crowd in Big Earl’s, plus a lost tourist from Trenton, N.J. were betting whether I could pull it off yet again — despite Lucille, shimmying up and down, weaving them hips in a way to hypnotize most mortal men. But not Nostradamus, Jr., when them annual predictions called. I thought, one more night of frolicking with Little Egypt and twelve imported belly dancers with super-perilous curves and tomorrow I’d go.

Source: Nostradamus, Jr. Kalihers Annual Top 101 Predictions for 201

“Nostradamus, Jr.” Kaliher’s Annual Top 101 Predictions for 2015

December 29, 2014 by · Leave a Comment 

Guest Article by William B. Kaliher

Reading a slightly chipped 1850’ antique crystal doorknob reduced last year’s accuracy to only 109 percent. Charlatan seers filling up New Year’s Day publications are overjoyed at achieving two percent accuracy. However, I, “Nostradamus Jr.” Kaliher disappointed with my results, drained a quart of Alvin Starkman’s (Mezcal Educational Excursions of Oaxaca) private mescal stock, snuggled up to scantily clad Little Egypt and swore off future predictions. Having neglected to examine my own future little did I know what to expect.

Read entire essay from BATR Archives


"Many seek to become a Syndicated Columnist,
while the few strive to be a Vindicated Publisher"

BREAKING ALL THE RULES


eXTReMe Tracker