Nostradamus, Jr. Kalihers Annual Top 101 Predictions for 2019

January 1, 2019 by · Leave a Comment 

A shapely, shimmering feminine silhouette somewhere in the distance kept interrupting my stupor. A woman, no, a sex goddess came into focus. Dang, I felt spaced out and recalled downing a quart jar of bad corn liquor slap dab in the middle of Big Earl’s House of Porn and Bait Shoppe before the light faded. The goddess was shapely Lucille and she slipped up close. Oh, lord her endowments felt good. “You finished your predictions yet, Nostradamus, Jr.?” she purred.

Lordy, Lordy have mercy, them predictions hadn’t crossed my mind in months. The whole dang crowd in Big Earl’s, plus a lost tourist from Trenton, N.J. were betting whether I could pull it off yet again — despite Lucille, shimmying up and down, weaving them hips in a way to hypnotize most mortal men. But not Nostradamus, Jr., when them annual predictions called. I thought, one more night of frolicking with Little Egypt and twelve imported belly dancers with super-perilous curves and tomorrow I’d go.

Source: Nostradamus, Jr. Kalihers Annual Top 101 Predictions for 201

“Nostradamus, Jr.” Kaliher’s Annual Top 101 Predictions for 2017

December 28, 2016 by · Leave a Comment 

I got buck-arsed naked—to the point of my ding-a-ling shriveling up to next to nothing–slap dab in the middle of Big Earl’s House of Porn and Bait Shoppe. That kind of thing ain’t normally allowed in Big Earl’s, but the whole dang crowd knew I was recovering from a three-month binge on rot gut just to make these world-wide awaited predictions.

Giving the condition of my Johnson an appraising look, Lucille, shimmied up and down, weaving them hips that would’ve froze a cobra his-self dead still. Despite her being one of the sexiest lasses this side or the other side of the Pecos, Big John remained Little Johnny. So, Lucille called in reinforcements. Little Egypt and twelve Egyptian belly dancers. Their super-perilous curves and yiyi overcame the cold and resurrected a unit Anthony Weiner would love to have tweeted as his own.

Read the entire article on the “Stuck on Stupid” archives

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