“Nostradamus, Jr.” Kaliher’s Annual Top 101 Predictions for 2016

December 29, 2015 by · Leave a Comment 

Producing this year’s soon-to-be amazingly accurate predictions was a virtual miracle. I, Nostradamus Jr., spent the month of August and the following two fortnights drunk as a coot on Carolina shine with Lucille (oh those deliciously dangerous curves) at Big Earl’s House of Porn & Bait Shop. Round about late September, I wandered out to the edge of the woods, and being about nineteen sheets to mild hurricane winds, thought it a good idea to wrassal a bigfoot name Norm I’d met years earlier while tormenting an alligator near Hell Hole swamp. Well, I was so whooped up and worn out by the time I pinned Norm in a two-out-of -three match, I wasn’t certain I could keep drinking. I forgot all about my duty to make predictions and walked with Norm as far as the Appalachians to hibernate with some black bears while I recovered. I finished off three triple-X jugs of hootch and tucked myself in between them fat, snoozing bears.

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“Nostradamus, Jr.” Kaliher’s Annual Top 101 Predictions for 2015

December 28, 2015 by · Leave a Comment 

Reading a slightly chipped 1850’ antique crystal doorknob reduced last year’s accuracy to only 109 percent.  Charlatan seers filling up New Year’s Day publications are overjoyed at achieving two percent accuracy. However, I, “Nostradamus Jr.” Kaliher disappointed with my results, drained a quart of Alvin Starkman’s (Mezcal Educational Excursions of Oaxaca) private mescal stock, snuggled up to scantily clad Little Egypt and swore off future predictions. Having neglected to examine my own future little did I know what to expect.

Read the entire article on the “Stuck on Stupid” archives


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